So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
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I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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