i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize