Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
