There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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