he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
