My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
