she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
