I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
