Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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