Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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