This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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