I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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