I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize