We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
