Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
