Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize