some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
