forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
