guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
