I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize