hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
