It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
