I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I cockslap morals
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
