while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
