ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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