I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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