foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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