I accidentally burped into my bong.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
