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Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Randomize
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