all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
