Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize