whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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