Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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