why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
