The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
