We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
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She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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