I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My penis needs a shock collar
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
