who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
