you didnt know i had herpes?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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