So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
