I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
