so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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