youre lurking in front of me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
