The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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