So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
