singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
