I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Someone shit on the floor
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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