love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
