whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
