I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
They took my balls.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
