it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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