Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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