Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
