happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
