how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
When did angry sex become our thing?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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