So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
