I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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