i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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