why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We're too hungover to prance.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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